melle_chantilly: (hood)
Health

I'm well! I saw my GP yesterday and she was pleased to see me doing good. She said jokingly she should see me less often (but still wrote me a script for only one months *eyeroll*)

I'm working out hard with my PT. No pain, just sweat. :)

Music

I've received the Hante LP this morning. I have listened to it a lot already and it is really pretty, so I thought I should buy it. :) A bit sad that I missed her show last week. Oh well. It's funny, but since the Teenage Menopause night with Essaie Pas, I find myself listening to a lot of francophone music, when I had a really hard time with most, not so long ago. Essaie Pas has really grown on me, and the last album from Peine Perdue is really good.



I've been listening to loads of Blush Response too (going to Lyon to see him live in a few weeks, whee), Blac Kolor, Ontal, Sarin...

Photography

Clment

Here are the photos I took of Clément. Nudes, just in case your boss is around and doesn't enjoy the sight of a surprise penis. (clicky)

Crafting

Ah! I've been struggling on the drop crotch trousers I am making with the black and rust tartan. They came out a wee small, and I've had to unpick the belt twice. Le sigh. They're... not great. The fabric is pretty fragile too and will probably get snagged at the first occasion. Oh well. I might alter them some more until I manage to get something satisfying out of them. I was bound to sew a failed project anyway!

Watching 



Yesterday, I watched Hush, by the guy who directed Absentia (and Occulus, which I haven't seen and am not sure I can). I liked it, overall. It is a home invasion movie, and the main protagonist is deaf, and it feels like a rather exploitative premise. I was iffy at first, but turns out her hearing impairment isn't the center of the movie in the sense that the intruder doesn't focus particularly on it, and she is totally badass, in a clever and composed way (and quite stunning too). So I'd recommend it (TW for flashing lights, and implied rape threat once). Also, Mike Flanagan, the director, doesn't like jump scares. I can't swear there aren't any, because I don't mind them (although they are 99.9% of the time very cheap and lazy).
melle_chantilly: (Glossy Red Lips)
Health

I don't know how it speaks to my health (lol) but I shaved my head! I've wanted to do it for a while now. I'm happy with it! The feeling is very nice. I expected it to look terrible but I think it suits me okay. I can't really judge as I can't stand my face but my head is relatively smooth and symmetrical.

Photography

Yes, of course, I took many pictures, including a proper self-portrait session this morning.


The rest is here (boobies).

Music

Last.fm isn't scrobbling at all today. :_(

Yesterday I listened to Blac Kolor, DSX, Celldöd, Ancient Methods, Codex Empire, Haujobb and Dead When I Found Her.

Reading

I started re-reading Crash last night. I badly want to buy the next issues of all the comics series I've started reading but it will have to wait until next month. :)

melle_chantilly: (hood)
Concert

Here are my photos of The KVB concert (link to the whole album).

The KVB

It was again quite tricky to shoot (because the lights were very dim, but mostly because the venue was packed and it isn't easy to get a good shot from anywhere but in front of the stage there). I'm quite satisfied with the results, although I wish I had better photos of Kat.

The concert itself was very good. Great performance, great sound, super loud bass, which is far from being a problem, but thank dog for earplugs, because I was right in front of the loudspeaker when shooting (protip: people avoid standing there, so it's a good spot for shooting hehe). I wish I had been able to enjoy it more but I took photos for the most part. I still danced for a few songs (including a sepulchral "Sympathy For The Devil" cover during the encore).

Music

Listened to a lot of ∆AIMON, KVB and Velvet Condom.

Watching



I have just watched A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night. I had discarded it because I feared it would be triggery, but not at all. And: female vampire eating the patriarchy, do I need to say more?

I loved it. First of all, the photography is breathtaking. The empty and silent city is a mesmerising setting for the story. It is a movie of few words. Characters are little more than quick sketches, but it leaves all the more room for emotion. Music plays an important part, and of course that's something I'm sensitive to.

It reminded me at times of Let The Right One In, but mostly made me want to rewatch Abel Ferrara's Addiction (I haven't seen it in 20 years so don't assume similarities further than the vampiric theme and the black & white image). 

It isn't very gory (some scenes with blood and a finger cut off but you can see it coming and it isn't very realistic or nasty). The music can be quite loud during "horror" scenes but same, you can tell when it's coming (no jump scares).

Very mild spoilers with themes:

Animals: I was afraid for the cat a lot but nothing happens to him.

Coercion of a woman: a woman is pressured and physically forced to take heroin by a man she's keeping company to. It isn't too bad a scene in my opinion, but still worth mentioning.

Crafting

I made myself a water bottle cosy. It took me only two days. It is very effective in keeping the bottle warm (stayed warm for the whole movie!).

melle_chantilly: Vertical Mixes art cover (Industrial)
Concert

I went to The KVB last night, it was very good. Their show was impeccable, very moody and sexy. Dim lights (which makes the photographer in me sigh heavily). The opening band was okay-ish but had better lights in that regard!

I'll post the photos tomorrow. In the meantime, here are those from A Place To Bury Strangers.

A Place To Bury Strangers

A Place To Bury Strangers

The rest of the album is here.

Another very, very good concert. I must say I wasn't super familiar with them, as it isn't the music I generally enjoy listening to at home, but would rather experience live. The sound again was perfect (both La Maroquinerie and Le Petit Bain rarely disappoint). I half expected to be bored after some time with super long guitar noise songs but the concert actually went by very fast. The room was packed and the crowd lively. Blurry Mountain, the opening act, were also very good and complimented the APTBS show perfectly.

It was probably my most challenging concert shooting up to this day. The performers moved A LOT, and the lights were non existent for most of the show, excepted for two video projectors on each side of the stage. Which means no auto-focus (I'm very bad at manual focus. I blame my glasses, and I need to try getting daily contacts for that purpose, because I can't see properly in the viewfinder). So I rolled with it and allowed myself to shoot blurry images and tried to capture movement the best I could. In post production, I amped up the contrast and colour saturation, which is practically the polar opposite of what I've been doing so far. And I'm pretty happy with the result! Quite outside of my comfort zone. Jill gave me solid advice and I'm trying less to aim for photographic "perfection" and more to try and capture the moment.

Music

Yesterday, I listened to Gabi Delgado, HEALTH, Encephalon and BQA (while trying to keep my cool as I was wrestling with our dying washing machine, ugh).
melle_chantilly: (Default)
Health

I'm doing fairly well. A bit tired, but only because I'm trying to shift back to my normal rhythm after almost two weeks of freestyle sleep in Ambierle. :)
I was freaking out a little bit these past few days because I am supposed to work this weekend and I couldn't reach the guy. I hate unplanned, uncertain things. It makes me so anxious. Anyway, we finally got in touch this morning and we're all good. So tomorrow and on Sunday I'm selling wine at the Salon des vignerons indépendants in Paris. Wish me luck!

Concert

I went to see Front Line Assembly last Sunday and, well, it wasn't good. They had major technical problems and Bleeb was beyond pissed. I still took some photos but it's tough taking good ones when noone is having a good time.

Front Line Assembly
Link to the album

Music

I've been listening to a lot of IAMX, and to the new KVB, Of Desire. I'm seeing them live in a few days (no photos, just dancing).

Watching

Math and I started watching Mr. Robot (oh jeez, I get Styx stuck in my head each time the title crops up). I really like it so far!

Photography

Yesterday, I spent an hour taking photos of Lawbenstriel. We had a lovely time and I'm very happy with the outcome. :)

Lawbenstriel
The whole series is here (some boobies)

Crafting

I've started sewing another pair of pyjamas, in a bright and colourful Kokka fabric. The shorts are done (I struggled getting my brain to get into "French seam mode" so it took a lot longer than it should have).
melle_chantilly: (Default)
Health

I'm better today. :) Math and I are working things out, he's the best, really. The constant mood swings are exhausting though.

Concert

I'm shooting Front Line Assembly on Sunday. I'm seeing Bleeb pictures crop up on Twitter from other European shows. Can't wait!

Music



Hey, look at that, I'm trying to listen to music that actually makes me feel good. I fell asleep to Tiamat last night. I woke up with Kite stuck in my head but listened to Roterstand, then Haujobb and Schwefelgelb.

Photography

We went for a quick car ride and I took photography of the countryside. The sky was nice. :) This is going to sound very goth but I don't think I've ever taken photos of the daylight outside before. I was at loss with the camera settings for a while.

Heavens

Cemetary

Cows

Crafting

I added the buttons and buttonholes to the jacket I'm making [personal profile] anatsuno . There's only the sleeves left and I already took all the measures I needed.
melle_chantilly: (NoAir)
Photography

I kept the keys to the empty flat, so yesterday Math and I went back and took a few pictures together. I had been wanting to take a series of photos with his hands on me for a while. I'm very happy with how they turned out. They're pretty rough, with gagging and breath play involved (but it's all in good fun and done with care, don't worry my friends). 

Here's a preview along with a text that I've been working on for a little while.

Music

We listened to Ah Cama-Sotz while shooting. Math thought it was a bit cliché but I had very little to choose from since I took the old Mac to shoot tethered. I can't really see myself shooting kinky stuff while listening to Bhambhamhara, yano?

Shooting was pretty exhausting. The rest of the day I rested, listening to DAF, The Horrorist, IAMX, Kite, Grimes and Henric De La Cour.


 
melle_chantilly: (Glossy Red Lips)
Photography 

While Math was visiting his parents, I spent the afternoon shooting with Marie-Anne aka Mademoiselle Chérie. The janitor gave me the key to an apartment in the building where I had shot previously. We had a lovely time and I'm very happy to have been able to capture her softer side.

Marie-Anne

Marie-Anne

See the whole album (NSFW) on flickr.

I'm feeling more confident about my skills and I'd love to shoot other people some more, so let me know if you'd like to do that (you don't have to get naked!)

Music

We listened to Architect's Mine, Tying Tiffany and Beauty Queen Autopsy during the shoot.

I also listened to Blackstar, Kite and Kirlian Camera.

melle_chantilly: (NoAir)
Health

I went back to the physio today! Did a pretty good workout (not too hard on my arms/shoulders but totally obliterated my abs and legs). It's nice to have a "coach" because I can't really muster the energy to workout on my own right now.

Music



Listened to IAMX, The Klinik, Celldöd, Desiderii Marginis...

Photography

I took some photos of myself (NSFW for some). Here's one that is modest enough:



Writing 

The little bit of erotica I wrote is up! Thank you Math, Josefien and [personal profile] anatsuno  for the proofreading, corrections and encouragement! :)
melle_chantilly: Vertical Mixes art cover (Industrial)
I'm very happy with these photos and very proud that Jill featured them on her blog once again, so there you go:

The Horrorist 29/01/16
Read more... )

Click here to view the whole set.

Here's also a crappy video (sorry to whoever who took it) I found on youtube to give you an impression of the mood that night.

melle_chantilly: (Lutens)
What a great night! And I'm not saying that only because I managed to haul my ass out at midnight even though I still have a bad, bad cold.

Yeah, the concerts started at 00:30 (luckily, The Horrorist was first so I was ready to pass out right after). And luckily, again, the taxis had ceased their strike, so I no longer had to contemplate walking back home (I'm about 45 min by foot from La Villette, which would normally not be a problem but oh boy, am I in bad shape!)

It seems that there was a distinct separation between the crowd who came for Salut C'est Cool and those who came for the infamous Oliver Chesler. As soon as the show began, people started getting rowdy but I still managed to navigate easily from one end to the other. I'm very happy with the shots I've got. A lot more diverse than what I've taken previously. Will post the whole set soon!

The Horrorist

The show was great, although very little recent material was played (and way too much from Manic Panic as far as I'm concerned, but I did appreciate the shortened version of "A Night in NYC" skipping the triggery ending altogether). Only one song from Fire Funmania (and my least favourite at that). No weird sex songs, sad Sophie. :P But also some new material! The security guys were more and more panicky as the concert went by as the stage kept catching fire when Oliver put his handheld light down. XD

My main complaint was that it was just too short (while Salut C'est Cool, while super fun and with a huge crowd of hardcore fan, overstayed their welcome. Well, it was their event, I think, so who am I to talk.)

So, yes, Salut C'est Cool gathered a very different crowd (most notably kigu wearers) and by the time their show started (almost 2am) everyone was altready pretty wasted. I sat in a booth and watched my friends and the rest of the crowd flail around and stumble into each other. SCC is a French nonsensical techno project with songs about making mashed potatoes, going to the pool and eating pizza. Fun. Maybe not for two hours. The average age of the crowd must have been around 22. And I thought I felt old at the Soft Moon (btw these guys got their gear stolen so help out if you can).

I waited for Alexander Robotnick but found out his set was very different to what I've heard from him before, not really my jam. So I packed and left (and I FORGOT MY VIAJANTE KILL ME NOW. Oh well, I was considering knitting another one, so I guess that's set. Pondering making it all silk but I'm afraid it would stretch out too much around the shoulders. Thoughts?)

I found a cab (after a 10 min walk without a scarf boo) and we chatted about the taxi strikes in Paris. He was very nice and exhausted (it was around 4am), and since there was no merch booth at the venue and I had a wad of cash left, I left him a big tip. Then, I was too pumped to fall asleep so I started sorting out the photos.in bed haha. I must have fallen asleep just before Math woke up.
melle_chantilly: Vertical Mixes art cover (Industrial)
For the second year in a row, Mondkopf was performing alongside other artists in the St Merri church, in the center of Paris. I remember last year's concert as one of the best of the year, no doubt. Math couldn't make it then, but luckily he got a second chance this year.

Les Rendez-Vous Contemporains de Saint Merry

Eglise Saint Merri

I am as godless as they come, but I have profound respect for people's faith (any flavour) and I've always found churches to be awe-inspiring. When I attended the concert last year, I believe it was the first time I ever stepped in a church at nighttime. Breathtaking. I've wanted to take the photo just above for a year. The light coming through the stained glass is just wonderful.

 Les Rendez-Vous Contemporains de Saint Merry

The crowd was a mixed lot. Some were really into drone, some really skeptical. The first set, by THISQUIETARMY was a mesmerizing one man-produced, guitar-based wave of cold and dark waves. 

THISQUIETARMY

THISQUIETARMY

Spero Lucem is a French ambient supergroup, uniting Somaticae, Saåad and Mondkopf (who you heard me talk about enough, I think). I don't know if they're planing on releasing a record together. I believe this was their first show together, and they're planning on playing in a chapel in Brittany in a month. The haunting and hypnotic atmosphere they created together felt at the same time distressing (it was hard not to think of the recent shootings in Paris when they used the sound of an air raid alarm) and respectful and spiritual. It's like they acknowledged through their music that they were playing in a church. Hard to describe. 

SPERO LUCEM (Mondkopf, Saad , Somaticae)

SPERO LUCEM (Mondkopf, Saad , Somaticae)

Unfortunately the stage wasn't set under the organ this time (I only have an instagram photo of it, Le Sigh) but right on the altar, so Jesus makes a cameo appearance on the wide shots. :)

SPERO LUCEM (Mondkopf, Saad , Somaticae)

Have a look at my gallery, as I haven't posted all the photos here.

melle_chantilly: (Jen)

It's been a week, so I need to get this blog entry done.



Before/After :D
 

Read more... )

Link to my live photos
melle_chantilly: (Glossy Red Lips)
Health

I've been well this weekend. I travelled to Lyon on Friday and we went [personal profile] snakeling and I to the Kirlian Camera concert that same night, which I was afraid would be a lot but it went well!

Concert

The opening act was supposed to start around 9pm but of course it started pretty late. Waiting was a bit tough on both of us but I spent an hour gazing at the crowd slowly coming in. Maybe because there was a party afterwards, most were dressed up to the nines (vinyl, latex, cyber goth, the Crow makeup, you name it).

I don't think I've been to a goth club since my early twenties so I had lots of flashbacks from that period. Good ones. Not much has changed it seems regarding looks (not in Lyon, anyways. I can't tell how it is in Paris but I'm sure it isn't much different). I, however, have changed, and found out that hanging out in black jeans, no make up and a Caustic t-shirt was something I felt comfortable about. It was quite pleasant and the DJ span some recent stuff (Soft Moon, Pattenbrigade, and I forgot the rest and it'll come back as soon as I hit "Post").

Qual was a mixed bag. William Maybelline breathes angst and it shows. But not many can perform as a solo artist on stage and produce an entertaining show. It was both a bit dull and very distressing to watch. Which balances it out if that's your kind of thing.





Picture heavy! )

And, well! I'm back home now, and feeling pretty good. Considering I probably never had been as depressed in my life as I was last Monday, that's something to celebrate. Hard.
melle_chantilly: (Glossy Red Lips)

I have set up a Tumblr account dedicated to my photo experiments. I will post my self-portraits there, and most likely only there.

But be warned that there will be nudes as well. Nothing pornographic but if you think seeing my breasts or my pubes might be a problem for you, you really don't have to follow. I will tag nudes, if that helps.

To me a naked body is just a naked body. I'm not a modest person. I have done nude modelling in the past and there are quite a few nude photos of me floating about on the internet already. So if we don't know each other that well but you'd like to follow, please don't hesitate.

I will probably write quite a bit along with the photos about my feelings regarding the whole process, so if anyone suffers from similar issues, I don't know, maybe it could have value of sorts.

Anyway, here's
the link (no nudes yet :P)

melle_chantilly: (Glossy Red Lips)

Perfume

Wore La Myrrhe along with my favourite dress. :)

Music

Into Encephalon quite a bit at the moment, so I played The Transhuman Condition when waking up. Then Die Form – Rayon X once Math was up, The Present Moment – Loyal To A Fault, Displacer – Electric Dreams, Orphx – Circuitbreaking.

Photography

Math went to his parents for lunch to celebrate his birthday, and in his absence I took some self portraits. My skin is doing very well at the moment, so that was an extra incentive. It's amazing how I got the energy to set up the tripod, move stuff around (chairs, ladder, big ass fan) in the bedroom, when a few days ago it was absolutely impossible to me and just turning the knobs on the tripod exhausted me and got my head spinning.

I tried a couple of settings and ended up in front of the window. I took, I don't know, maybe 30 photos, trying different things with the light. Kirlian Camera was playing in the background. When I was done and looked at all the photos at once, I realized I found myself to look okay in all of them. It felt so incredible to realize. Of course, there's good days and bad days and my skin being smooth helps. But wow, it was amazing. I picked a couple and edited them right away: I tweaked the colours and level, but didn't do any cosmetic retouching. I don't see the point. I want to see myself and love myself, not a idealized image of myself. So here's me, pimples and dark circles included (I texted them to Math as soon as they were ready because I was quite happy with them):


More photos under the cut )

 

Watching

I watched Grimm and the episode with the man-eating woman wasn't as terrible and tropey as I was fearing. I'm still not super happy about what's happening in general but things need to develop. But Adalind's arc is gross.

More music

I listened to some Carpenter Brut, to the latest Neuroticfish, the Gothsicles, and then started putting a couple of mixtapes together. The next one should be a Hi-Energy one, with some electro stuff but also some MIA, Adam Freeland...

Reading

I think I read a bit? I was exhausted but wanted to stay awake until midnight to with Math a happy birthday. The next thing I remember is waking up in the dark, still propped up on my pillows. Oops. ><

melle_chantilly: (SplitFace Lutens)
I've been toying with the idea of taking self-portraits for a while now. For years actually, but it's been very present in my mind lately, since I have a lot of idle time. I have grown to accept my body as it is in the past couple years and I think exercise helped a lot, not necessarily because it changed my body but because I learned things about how it functions, how it was designed, and what good it can do when it isn't completely broken.

But, I still hate my face. I can't explain it, it's certainly a form of BDD. I have a hard time looking at my face in the mirror as a whole (I can do upclose and look at different parts). I know it would freak other people out too much, but if I can change my face magically I wouldn't hesitate one second. I used to not be able to leave my home without a full-face of goth makeup, even on weekends, even just to go get my mail. I considered my bare face as a canvas, something unfinished, not me. Makeup certainly helped me cope socially but didn't allow me to embrace or accept my face as a part of myself. I quit wearing makeup when I was in a better place in my life (it's possible that the onset of chronic illness participated in this too, since makeup rituals are a lot of efforts and I was left with very little energy on a daily basis). But my face felt and still feels foreign. And ugly.

I also have rosacea, which is getting quite annoying nowadays. It means that my skin is very sensitive, and that I always have pimples and red patches on my face. If I drink even one sip of alcohol my face will redden like a bad sunburn for hours on. If I drink alcohol on a regular basis (think one beer or even half a beer every night for a few days in a row), my skin will start to itch and get covered in small pustules that will take about a month to heal. Hot beverages are also an issue, so I need to limit my consumption of those, and spicy food will give me the sensation of a very bad sunburn on my face (it's kept me up many nights, so I have now forgone chili pepper altogether).

I'd really like to try to take photos to get to know myself. I don't know if it makes sense but I feel like I can't spend my whole life pretending like I don't have a face, or look like a monster all the time. Just take photos that mean something to me, experiment and see where it goes. Body parts, close up, portraits, clothed, nudes. Maybe to show, maybe not. I don't aim to make artistic or beautiful photos, technically, but just to show a person. I won't retouch anything, just play with tones and levels to make the photos prettier.

I have no knowledge of how to take self portraits, technically. So I tried a few things and realized a remote trigger would be the best. Math said he had one (!) but just a cheap one he bought to trigger videos. I tested it the other day, quickly, and it was very frustrating. Turns out you need to keep your arm at almost camera level for the laser to reach the camera captor and even then, it is super not responsive. Here's a photo I took then (I look pretty annoyed because the trigger only worked one time out of five on average, ugh):


If I look at it with my usual eyes, I can pick it apart and see a million things I hate about it (just my face, I don't care about the rest). I try hard to see it with an outside look and tell myself I look okay (and boiling inside lol). But it's so so tough. I actually took it about 10 days ago. I waited until I felt strong enough to post it online. I wanted to show it, to prove something to myself, to face my fears. So there. :)

melle_chantilly: (Chantilly)
I finally got my shit together and took some photos of the wonderful stole my friend knit for me for Xmas. Because words can't describe its beauty accurately. And its shape is perfect, I can wear it so easily, it hasn't left my neck for all winter and my shoulders/lap at home.







New photos

Mar. 23rd, 2013 11:13 am
melle_chantilly: (Default)
I've taken new photos of Biscuit and Alpha. I'm trying to harmonize all of my pictures. I use natural light though so it's not exactly the same on each photo.

 



What do you guys think?
melle_chantilly: (Jen)
I sold 4 hanks to a perfect stranger on Ravelry yesterday. I'm baffled. And ecstatic.

I've sold everything I have dyed now, except a couple of skeins. Okay, it's dead cheap but still. Amazing.

I keep tweaking and re-tweaking my yarn photos in photoshop (trying mostly to have a nice background, not too white, but a pure grey). I keep re-uploading them to Ravelry, and I'm probably flooding everyone's feed, I'm sorry!

Here's my latest tweak of Aoi.


I have to dye another hank (since I have none left) to take a "poop pile" picture like for the other colourways (yes, I used to think the artistically laid skeins looked a bit like turds and I told Clementine so, a while ago. And now I'm doing it! Putting my yarn in poop shape for photo purposes! Crazy. Clementine is making fun of me. :D)

Here's an album with the pictures of all my colours. Comments about the photo quality are very welcome.

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