Feb. 6th, 2016

melle_chantilly: (Chantilly)

I was quite hyper yesterday and it's quite difficult. I wish I had a few days of respite between this and soul crushing depression. Feeling quite alienated, having a hard time to connect. Always wanting more. I'm writing though which comes as a big surprise. It hadn't happened in maybe 20 years...

My mother said she wouldn't email me anymore, and I guess she held her promise in a way, because she sent me an envelope (with my address written by someone else's hand. I still expected it to be from her before opening). It contained an old short story of mine (no message apart from that). I just read the first sentence and it all came back. And I realised two things: that she really shouldn't have that (it's super personal, one of the darkest stuff I have ever written, about a woman surrendering to a sadist who ends up eating her. See a pattern yet?), and that it was exactly how I didn't want to write anymore. I'm still exploring rather dark thoughts but it was oh so verbose. 

Here's the last thing I put up online (it's v explicit erotica, very short too). I am working on another text that is almost done, and which I'm really proud of.


We listened to Neuroticfish, Beborn Beton, Foals, the new Mondkopf (very good), the Soft Moon (Deeper and it's remixes, so so good), Ancient Methods and the new Blac Kolor song.

Out and about

We went to the Daido Moriyama exhibition opening at Fondation Cartier. There was a Print Shop event where you could pic photos from a selection and have your own book made and signed by Moriyama. So we made ours. :) 

There was also an exhibition of Fernell Franco's work. I knew nothing about him and I really loved it. Disturbing and very human at the same time (especially his work with prostitutes). You can see most of what was show on his website.



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