melle_chantilly: (Default)
I've been quite into lingerie for a while now, purchasing at least one ensemble a month. I'm buying mostly from bargain websites which is quite perverse since everything is so cheap I rarely think twice. I do wear everything I've purchased very often so I don't feel too silly about buying so much. A part of me thinks that I've been so broke in the past, and for quite a long time, that I don't want to restrain myself any more.

I'm trying to be reasonable though and tell myself I don't “need” more lingerie, since my drawers are about to explode. A direct result of this is that I'm shifting to other objects of lust, namely nylons and vintage wardrobe. Lately, I have been searching the web (mostly Etsy) daily for great findings (bargains again, I'm the cricket and the ant at the same time) and read an incredible amount of material on vintage nylon sizing and care. I have bought 3 beautiful vintage dresses (2 for every day wear and one party dress).

I have started wearing nylons pretty often (not everyday though, mostly because many of my dresses are too short). I like the sensation and I find stockings way more comfortable than tights and way more secure than stay ups. I am just horribly self conscious in the street because I would hate if someone spotted that I wore a garterbelt. Also, nylon stockings seem way more sturdy than modern stretck stockings. I've never been able to wear fine hosiery before because I can almost rip sheer stockings by looking at them.

I have received that amazing vintage party dress from the 50's, which measurements looked ridiculously small. I was determined to let the seams out a bit and wear it over my corset, but it turns out it fits like a charm as is (over my corset still)! I have a burlesque party I'd like to attend in a couple of weeks so I'm trying to get used to my corset. I've had it for 6 month and haven't really worn it except one day at Fetish Evolution. It is surprisingly comfy (I am a complete corset noob)! I went out and about yesterday while wearing it under my clothes and it was lovely.

So, since I might become a more regular corset wearer (we'll see) I have started browsing corset websites to drool. Provided that I don't get turned off for some reason, this might become my next obsession. *sigh* I am now drooling on [ profile] sparklewren's work. Recommendations are welcome! I like vintage looking corsets, pastel colours and cording. This image makes me swoon:


It's weird how everything I am passionate about is so overly feminine when my sex drive is such shit. And how everything can be seen as a way to constrict the body, when mine is already so fucked up. Hmm... Is it bad, doc?
melle_chantilly: (Glossy Red Lips)
 I made up my mind and acquired the most lovely pumps yesterday. Shiny patent leather with 5” heel and 1” platform. They're very comfortable, just the perfect height.
I enjoyed shopping at the high end corner of the dept store. Contrary to popular belief, most sales clerks are very pleasant and helpful (whether you buy or not).
Just as I made the purchase, I felt a super strong wave of migraine coming (coincidence? Lol) and the man ran all over the place to find me a glass of water so I could take a tablet.
Anyway, here they are (had fun with the mirrors of my angle wardrobe):

My metalware supplier, who is firstly a leather supplier, sold me a bottle of leather relaxer and this stuff is amazing. I don't know how I could live without it. I have a few pair of shoes that are a bit narrow on some spots and this product makes temporarily leather really pliable so you can insert shoetrees or just mould it by hand to enlarge it a bit. It is in fact the product shoe maker use to shape the leather in the form of a shoe. I tested it on some old pairs I never wear because of the discomfort and it worked seamlessly. Yay!

But I digress. After shopping I met up with my best friend, NL., and we went to rue Saint Anne, not far from the dept store to eat Japanese in a restaurant I've visited a few times a year for about 10 years now. It is really the only place I genuinely enjoy eating yakitori. I love the place also because it's the only restaurant of the area where I don't feel rushed to eat (most of them have long queues outside in the evening, but this one is a little bit pricier, not really actually, it's more that the other restaurant are very very cheap.) Maybe not the best timing to go eat Japanese, but the people at the restaurant seemed unaffected, and the boss, who always recognize me despite my visiting really every 6 months, showed me photos of the baby a friend who used to work there just had.

So we had one yakitori menu and a few little separate things: Japanese omelette, onigiris, karaage (fried chicken) and shared everything. We drank grilled rice tea and umeshu (plum wine). Lovely lovely evening.

I was pretty energetic for the past two days and it felt so good. For the past two weeks I was very tired for the first days of the week and energetic from Thursday on. Today, well, I'm a bit wrecked lol. I ended up walking quite a lot yesterday and rushing things to manage to have some time in the evening. But I have my new assistant coming today and I am hoping she will help me quite a bit with things. It's her first “real” day (not counting the 2 trial days) ! :)
melle_chantilly: (Glossy Red Lips)
I love shoes. I love high heels. I love the objects. I could display them like art pieces. I love their architecture, their perfection. And I love wearing them. I love how they make me feel more energetic, more powerful, taller, but also more fragile.

I usually try to compromise between comfort and height, and manage to find shoes that are more than bearable usually. I believe one's feet need a bit of training to be comfortable in heels, analogously to the training for tight-lacing corsets.
After months of wearing mostly flats (and my beloved pair of Chie Mihara, which are super comfy mid heels), I have taken on wearing heels again. I don't know if it's related to yoga or what, but I'm more comfortable in heels than I've ever been. Hey, even my back is thanking me!

I'm now lusting after a pair of patent pumps at an indecent price. Tried them on today, still pondering. I've never put so much in shoes, so I think another week of good thinking is in order.

I can't help it, I really love shoes. Just like I love lingerie, I think I mostly love wearing them for myself. (I also have realized lately that I tried to dress better lately to fit better with what I think I should look like as a designer. I enjoy that too.) But I can't help being bothered as a feminist: why am I drawn to such hyper-feminizing objects? Why am I self-inflicting something that is, let's not kid myself there, just another layer of discomfort? What does it make me if I feel better/stronger with high heels?

I am of course strongly subjected to gender norms, because I'm living in this society. And I don't think the most feminist person can ever get completely free from those. And I don't think it is intrinsically wrong to believe that men and women are different and to want to be feminine, as long as it doesn't feel mandatory. Shoes exist, its industry is large and produces very appealing items for people who have a keen eye for shapes and composition.

But I shake the feeling that my love for shoes is a sort of sexist trap I fell into. Okay, heels make legs look longer, slimmer, firmer. But first, why should women want to have longer, slimmer and firmer legs? Why always better? Why always perfect? And then, why shouldn't men want the same? I know, I know, it sounds candid, but I'm just writing it as it comes, stating the obvious. It's okay to want to use artifice for aesthetic purpose but why does it have to be uncomfortable or plain painful? And why should women have it way worse than men? Women have heels, make up, waxing, garter belts, stockings... Apart from ties, and maybe shaving, today's men have it pretty easy, I think.

What is interesting is that many items that are nowadays viewed as solely feminine used to be worn by men and women, and even exclusively by men. Men used to wear make up, stockings and heels, and lace used to be the sole property of men before the 16th century. So when did men stop doing crazy things to look pretty? And why? Until now my research has been fruitless so feel free to enlighten me if you are versed on the subject.

A theory I have about the passion that women can have for shoes, which is very comparable to the obsession for lingerie, is that both shoes and bras are, in addition to be stereotypically feminine, very difficult to fit. Some women feel that they “match” one brand more than the other and it is likely to be true. Shoe makers work with shapes that they use to form the leather onto. You'll notice that a particular designer will mostly do only a few particular shapes of shoes, that's because of said forms. The next seasons, they will use these forms for their cheaper line.

Bra sizes, as I rambled about it extensively before, are absurdly inconsistent and misleading. The chase for the mythic well-fitting bra can be never-ending. The same goes for shoes. Just like breasts, feet come in all sizes and shapes, some are wide, some are narrow, some have one toe that protrudes, some have another, some are asymmetrical... Rationalizing all those data into standard sizes is impossible. So some brands will choose to make mostly narrow shoes, some will arch their heels a certain way, but in the end, no one can ever be comfortable in a given size in every brands.

Just like I'm a 80E/30E, I believe I'm a weird shoe size. After roaming in the department store and trying all the shiny shoes I could spot, mostly in very high end brands, I came to the conclusion that my actual shoe size might be 36 ¼. So either I'm a fucking weird beast, or maybe it's just that I am more informed than most consumers and that I expect products that really fit me. I also think that my Achilles' heel is very flat, because as snug as they are, shoes from some particular brands just won't hold. I take a step and they just slide off. Maybe half of the brands do that (bye bye Sergio Rossi) and the rest stay put. For a woman with a stronger Achilles' heel, the brands that work for me are probably instant blisters makers.

Anyway, that was quite a rambling. I had fun going through the department store and being taken care of by the high-end brands clerks. Now, the girl I am has her mind set on the most expensive pair. I didn't buy anything yet, I'm pondering how reasonable it would be to be unreasonable. :)


melle_chantilly: (Default)

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